Subject: Euringlish
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will bethe official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in planthat would become known as "Euro-English". In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make thesivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. Therewill be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph"will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reachthe stage where! more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben adeterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag isdisgrasful and it should go away. By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such asreplasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" andafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understandech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forstplas. If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.
No comments:
Post a Comment